Life Changing Lessons To My Past Self (10 years ago)

If I could send a message to myself ten years ago, it would be filled with crucial advice that could have made all the difference. From setting non-negotiable boundaries and envisioning an ideal life to preparing for financial surprises and focusing on key priorities, these lessons would have significantly shaped my journey. Here, I share these essential insights, hoping they can guide you towards a more fulfilling and successful future. Let's explore the wisdom I wish I had known a decade ago.

Define Deal Breakers

Ten years ago, I wish I had known the importance of defining and adhering to my deal breakers. Drawing a thick line around your non-negotiable deal breakers is crucial. These deal breakers may be in your personal life, career, or the crossover between the two. Begin by identifying your core values and writing them down. You'll discover that some things are so fundamental to you that they cannot be compromised. These might include dealing with untrustworthy people, working in unethical industries, or how you are treated by others.

Set firm boundaries around these deal breakers. Never tolerate these boundaries being breached. If they are, address these issues immediately. If they cannot be rectified, make plans to move on. Life is too short to be in situations where core issues make you unhappy. Remember, maintaining your integrity and staying true to your values is important for long-term satisfaction and peace of mind.

Design Your Ideal Life

Designing your ideal life begins with defining your ideal day. This involves a blend of self-reflection, planning, and prioritization. Here’s a structured approach to help you through the process:

Self-Reflection

1. Identify Your Values: Reflect on what matters most to you. These might include health, family, career, personal growth, hobbies, and social connections.

2. Consider Your Goals: Think about your short-term and long-term goals. How can your ideal day contribute to achieving these goals?

Daily Activities Inventory

1. List Current Activities: Write down everything you do on a typical day. This includes work, leisure, chores, exercise, socializing, and relaxation.

2. Assess Satisfaction: Rate your satisfaction with each activity. Identify which activities you enjoy and which you find draining or unfulfilling.

Envision Your Ideal Day

1. Morning Routine: Consider how you want to start your day. This might include activities like meditation, exercise, a healthy breakfast, or reading.

2. Work and Productivity: Think about how you want to structure your workday. What tasks do you enjoy? When are you most productive? Include breaks to recharge.

3. Leisure and Hobbies: Identify time for activities you enjoy. This could be hobbies, spending time with loved ones, or pursuing creative interests.

4. Health and Wellness: Plan time for exercise, healthy meals, and relaxation techniques to ensure you maintain physical and mental well-being.

5. Evening Routine: Consider how you want to wind down your day. This might include activities like reading, spending time with family, or preparing for the next day.

Set Priorities

1. Essential Activities: Identify non-negotiable activities that align with your values and goals. These should be the foundation of your ideal day.

2. Time Allocation: Allocate realistic time blocks for each activity. Ensure a balanced approach that doesn’t overwhelm you.

Create a Schedule

1. Draft a Plan: Write down your ideal day schedule, starting from when you wake up to when you go to bed. Be specific about what you’ll do and when.

2. Be Flexible: Understand that not every day will be perfect. Allow some flexibility for unexpected events or changes.

Implementation and Adjustment

1. Trial and Error: Try living your ideal day for a week or two. Note what works and what doesn’t.

2. Adjust as Needed: Make adjustments based on your experience. Be open to tweaking your schedule to better fit your needs and circumstances.

Review and Reflect

1. Regular Check-Ins: Periodically review your ideal day to ensure it still aligns with your values and goals. Life changes, and your ideal day might too.

2. Celebrate Successes: Acknowledge when you successfully implement parts of your ideal day. Celebrate these small wins to stay motivated.

Expenses Go up in Leaps, Not in Increments

One of the critical financial lessons I wish I had known is that expenses tend to increase in leaps, not increments, while your salary grows slowly. While your income may grow incrementally over time, significant jumps are rare and often tied to promotions or job changes. However, expenses can increase suddenly and dramatically. Buying a home, having children, planning an expensive vacation, or facing a medical emergency can all lead to substantial and unexpected costs.

To prepare for these eventualities, save aggressively during times of low expenses. You never know when you will need extra money, but you can be assured that you will. Building a robust financial safety net is essential for handling life's unpredictable financial demands without undue stress.

Limit Your Priorities

Another valuable lesson is to focus on a small number of priorities. Attempting to do too many things often results in doing nothing extremely well. Throughout my career, whenever I tried to juggle too many tasks, I ended up achieving very little of substance. This principle applies to both professional and personal endeavors.

Limit your time to a few important areas: one career goal, one personal goal, one hobby, and a limited number of loved people. Dedicate your time and energy to these priorities above all else. By concentrating on what truly matters, you can make significant progress and achieve a deeper sense of fulfillment. Leave the trivial at the door and focus on what will have the most significant impact on your life.

Nobody Cares

This is a difficult truth to accept, but the majority of people you meet do not care about your successes and failures. They may say they do, but their actions often speak otherwise. Once you realize that you are largely independent and (mostly) alone in your journey, you will be more free to pursue your goals with determination and passion.

Pursue your dreams with the vigour of someone who has something to prove, and the person you need to prove it to is yourself. Embrace your independence and use it as a driving force to achieve your goals. Understanding that you are your own greatest advocate can empower you to take bold steps towards your aspirations.

Conclusion

Reflecting on these lessons, it's clear that defining deal breakers, designing an ideal life, understanding financial realities, limiting priorities, and recognizing the independence of your journey are all crucial elements for a fulfilling and successful life. These insights would have greatly benefited me ten years ago, and I hope they provide valuable guidance for anyone seeking to navigate their path with clarity and purpose. Life is a continuous journey of growth and learning, and applying these principles can help create a more intentional and rewarding future.